Marriage is an appropriate way of establishing correct and acceptable relationships between a man and a woman. This helps maintain chastity and protect the individuals from slipping into the immorality of fornication. There are a lot of people whose parents should have found suitors for them but they did not do so because they wanted them to complete school, and not just completing school but also get a nice job and then marry by themselves but guess what happens, some of them die without completing the school whiles others die after completing the school without the nice job, but never the less we are in a society where some of our parents feel comfortable seeing us in this our so called fornication termed as dating than when they hear us talking about marriage. They don’t want their sons or daughters to talk to them about marriage but they are happy knowing their sons or daughters are in wrongful relationships but anyways when I talk of marriage I am referring to those that are of age.
Some parents know their children are into unlawful relationship, they know their children want to get married but cannot afford to do so, but their parents have just more than enough to help them marry but they are not willing to help. If your son or daughter is in a wrong relationship and you as a parent knows about it and you refuse to do anything about it, then you are also part of the problem. There are a lot of young people willing to get married but they have no means to do so but their parents have. I am not blaming any parent for not marrying for your son or daughter even though that is part of your duties as a parent. I know some parents are also willing to marry for their sons and daughters but they the children are also not willing, but here I am only interested in those that are willing, just imagine you as a parent to be specific a Muslim knows about your son or daughter’s unlawful relationship, and you again know for sure that you have the ability to save him or her from this so called fornication but you just willingly refuse to help and one morning you wake up seeing him or her dead, will your conscience leave you? Is that the love you have for your son or daughter?
I know some parents are afraid of marrying for their sons or daughters not because they don’t have the means but because they are afraid of them not achieving their desired goals or dreams, but the question I always ask is, can marriage stop someone from achieving his or her dreams? To me, the answer is NO! if we are to make a simple analysis, we will get to know that, this our so called dating has caused more than enough people from achieving their set goals especially when the unfortunate like broken heart happens. One thing most parents fail to understand is that, the solution is not trying to prevent your son or daughter from getting into a relationship, that one will happen, no matter how you as a parent tries to fight it, the time has come for him or her to get involve in those things and the only solution that can help is to let him or her marry or else you as a responsible parent will be having grandchildren outside marriage and you cannot solely attribute the blame to him or her alone because you also contribute to it. Sometimes when I see a parent fighting that he or she will not allow a bastard into his or her family, I always try to ask questions like, what at all were you thinking you will get from that unlawful relationship, If not such a bastard. My dear parents if you have the means to marry for your son or daughter please do so, to save him or her from fornication.
Suntaa Abudu Ibrahim.